Episode 3.9
– Did you know that Ghost Kiss appears in every issue of Combine? Combine is science fiction comic magazine featuring three ongoing stories, including Ghost Kiss! You can subscribe to Combine and have new issues mailed directly to you! If you prefer to read your comics on paper as a magazine please check out Combine! Find out more here!
Just in case, there’s a typo in “privileges”. Maybe, it’s on purpose?
It’s not. Thanks for pointing it out.
Typo spotted: it’s “privileges,” not “privilages.”
Thanks.
i would die
This… this is just pure evil!! Because someone hurt Mya’s fragile little feelings little miss Admin is preventing him from ever using the Internet ever again?! What if he’s having an emergency, and needs to make a call?? It would’ve been better if Mya punched him!
And all this over a couple of dumb comments? What bullshit is that?!
*** THIS IS ADMIN. A GRAY PHANTOM IS NOW UNABLE TO LEAVE ANY COMMENTS ***
So if his job requires him to communicate through e-mail he’s just been royally screwed?
Very possibly. Of course, he may just be able to explain the situation to his employers. Presumably the effects of the power would be demonstrable. Since teh character is a college student, he probably doesn’t have a job of that type though (although who knows). He may have some trouble taking online courses or turning in homework.
I know this is a bit of an old thread, but new reader, and I feel it must be said.
The effects of the power would be demonstrable unless, say, he worked from a home office for people on the opposite coast, or worked freelance, or took distance education. Heck, put out handwritten resumes stating you can’t use a computer or submit any information electronically, see how many interviews you get. And he can’t even sign into Xbox Live? Can he enter his PIN at an ATM? Heck, even when I go to the counter at my bank, I have to use a keypad.
That’s not even saying anything about the lifetime of therapy that will neither explain nor cure this sudden psychological block. I wanna say this is equivalent to cutting out someone’s tongue for saying something mean, but I’m not sure that would be as maiming as this. Ghost Kiss made the wrong decision in this episode, possibly due to bravery through internet anonymity. Which is fine, heroes are fallible, but there’s no mistaking that this is a mistake.
Thanks for reading.
I’m actually amazed by how many people keep comparing online harassment of this type to “saying something mean”. This kind of harassment is persistent and insidious. It’s abuse. Worse, it’s abuse that is almost always leveled at complete strangers for no reason other than maliciousness. This is not abuse and harassment in retaliation for something. In the vast majority of cases this kind of abuse and harassment is completely unprovoked. There is also nearly zero recourse against it, since many sites take no action against reported abusers, and even when abusers are suspended or banned they can easily make a new account or follow their target to a new site. Ignoring the abuser doesn’t stop the abuse, even if you can no longer see it. The abuser is still out there saying horrible things about you where people you do know and work with can see it. Often the only recourse victims have is abandoning their internet presence entirely, and even then harassment can find it’s way off the web in the form of letters, phone calls or late night knocks on the door. This does happen. My sister had to MOVE because of a situation similar to this.
This stuff does happen. It is real. It’s not “saying something mean”. It’s harassment and abuse. It’s absolutely fine to argue that Mya went to far. Of course. That was meant to be the question of the story, and I don’t necessarily disagree. But I am so fucking tired of how many people are super upset about Mya’s actions but don’t see Tom’s actions as a problem at all. Tom is a predator. Tom is an abuser. Tom is a harasser. His behavior is toxic and serves no purpose other than to make other people’s lives miserable. His behavior is not acceptable, excusable or okay. It’s fine to think that what happened to Tom is unfair. But it’s not fine to ignore that Tom is a fucking awful person. His actions need to be stopped and punished.
Mya’s actions, fair or unfair, justified or not, are in response to a kind of malicious behavior that is both super common in our society and almost always goes unaddressed and unpunished. I’d like to see everyone who feels like Mya’s actions were too severe (which is, again, an understandable opinion) post what they think a fitting and fair punishment for this kind of harassment would be (I’ve asked this question before and was absolutely floored when I was told that there shouldn’t be any kind of punishment or consequence at all).
Sorry, I should say mean things instead of something mean. As a favorite target of a half dozen or so elementary schools, I’m familiar with persistent harassment. I won’t pretend like it was always easy to deal with, but deal with it, I did. I fail to see how it coming from strangers makes it worse. Maybe I do it backwards, but a complete stranger’s opinion of me has little power over me. However, if we’re going by “strangers over the internet” logic, I wonder if Ghost Kiss could have made the same decision if she were face to face with this guy?
Going back to my elementary school experience, even when the bullies were suspended or given detention they’d easily come back and find me afterwards. The one thing they can’t get around? Acknowledge that their attitude is their problem, not yours.
Do your friends really put stock into what some stranger neither of you have met has to say about you online? If so, then I must be backwards again.
I sympathize for what your sister had to go through, but the situation you’re talking about seems like a whole other beast. If we judge an act based on what it could escalate into, where do we draw the line?
I’m certainly not saying that Tom is in the right. He’s a grade A ass. A fitting punishment for his behavior? Well, punishment fitting the crime, I guess it would be a scathing retort, and/or a self-imposed descent into social pariahhood. If that isn’t satisfying, imagine for a moment, an elderly couple. Any time they go out in public all they talk about is “kids these days” and how “all young men are thugs” and “young women are sluts” and such. What punishment do they deserve? How are they different from people like “Tom”?
Sorry, I should have started my comment with “I know you haven’t made your opinion on Toms action’s clear, but I want to use this response as a chance to address something that’s been bothering me about previous responses”. Anyway, thanks for your reasonable reply.
What I meant with my strangers comment is that very often this kind of harassment and abuse comes from people who, because they are strangers, can’t possibly have anything against their target personally. They don’t have they excuse of “I know this person and we argue all the time” or “this person was an asshole to me at work, so I’m going to harass her online”. Not that these are reasonable excuses, but not even having the context for maliciousness makes this kind of behavior even more bizarre. It’s certainly not better to be harassed by people you know (I imagine often it’s worse), but when that does happen at least you know why. At least you have context.
I also wonder if Mya would have made the same choice if she were face to face with Tom. Or if she would have punched him. Or if she would make the same choice a second time. Similarly, I wonder if Tom would be harassing women face to face.
I do think that things people say online about you can have a huge effect on what people think of you. Maybe not your close friends who you see regularly, but most of us are connected to more distant friends, acquaintances, co-workers, potential employers, relatives, people we might want to have relationships with and their friends, co-workers and relatives, etc. In my case, I also have thousands of people that follow me through various social media sites, and a lot of creative people I know are in the same situation. I’m sure other people have jobs where LOTS of peopel follow them who don’t actually know them. Having someone call you a slut or a whore, having them imply that you’re a prostitute, having them brag about how they fucked you, or simply constantly saying sexual things about you is humiliating, even if they obviously don’t know you. And for so many of the people who follow you, they don’t have the context to know that this person doesn’t know you. Not everyone is going to form an opinion of you based on a comment they read on instagram or facebook, but many people will. This does happen. And for many people it can be humiliating. It can also lead to not getting jobs or other opportunities. It can lead to more negative attention. Of course it happens to guys too (often not in teh same way), but mostly it happens to women, and for a lot of women they aren’t even able to complain about it without being told to just get over it.
What my Sister went through is a pretty extreme situation, but not actually uncommon. I do agree that we shouldn’t punish actions for what they might escalate into. I do think that there are several “levels” of online harassment and abuse,and we can certainly punish each appropriately.
I don’t think a scathing retort is a punishment at all, let alone a suitable one. Neither is social pariahood, especially for someone who clearly doesn’t care what other people think of them (I mean, it’s not as if most people who perform this kind of harassment keep their identities secret). I don’t think your elderly couple analogy works either, since they aren’t targeting a specific person. Imagine every time you post anything at all, Tom makes a sexual comment.A photo of yourself at your mother’s birthday. A photo with friends at work. A photo of your cat. Tom leaves a comment asking if you want to suck his cock. Telling you that your ass is amazing. Asking where you live. Every day. On facebook, on twitter, on instagram. He messages you on snapchat 3-4 times a day. He sends you pictures of his cock. Sometimes he does this in private, but sometimes he posts it where everyone can see it. When you don’t reply he calls you a whore. He calls you a slut. He posts about how you have sex for money. He posts about how he fucked you in the ass on Christmas eve. He posts about what a good cocksucker you are. He does all of this where everyone you know can see it. Where the person you’re dating can see it. Your family. Your Mom. All of your friends. All of your coworkers. Sometimes he even tags them to make sure they see it. he also does all this through private messages. Every time your phone vibrates or you get a ping on your computer you have to wonder if it’s him. He knows that this upsets you. You’ve asked him to stop several times. You’ve argued with him. You’ve put him on ignore. You’ve reported him. He’s come back after having his account banned. After having his IP banned. Sometimes it seems like you finally got rid of him, only to wake up to 30 new private messages and dozens of new posts.
This is real, actual harassment and abuse. It happens every day to tons of people. Mostly women. It almost always goes unpunished. Part of the reason it goes unpunished is so many people don’t see it as a problem. So many people think that some kind of clever comeback or scathing retort is going to somehow solve the problem. As if Tom will read your comment and say “Oh shit, I guess you got me. I know I’ve been relentlessly harassing you for weeks on multiple platforms, but I guess now that you called me out on it I’ll give up. I definitely won’t start sending messages to your mother or your boss, or track down your phone number and start calling you at 2am.
Anyway, thanks for being willing to discuss this. Please don’t read my tone as adversarial or accusatory.
Sometimes peoples’ motivations aren’t readily apparent. There are any number of things one could be lashing out against the nearest available target over. Even if that isn’t the case, part and parcel of living in a free society is that people will make bad decisions. When I was a wee lad, we were taught in school that some people would decide they just don’t like us for no real reason, and that’s their loss, not ours.
Maybe I’m a bit optimistic about the human condition, but I have faith that anyone important enough to be digging through the comments on my social media is able to identify a baseless rumor and respond like an adult, and if they can’t, maybe it’s better for me in the long run that I know. Also, “just get over it”, could be interpreted as a somewhat harsh way of saying “You’re OK. You don’t have to worry about it.” if one is so inclined to interpret it as such.
I don’t agree so much that there need to be different degrees of online harassment, but that there is a line where online harassment becomes something else that already exists within the legal system, such as slander, uttering a threat, or stalking. And perhaps more could be done to make that line and its specifics common knowledge.
I think we’re coming close to a very important question in this debate. If they don’t let your words have power over them, why should you let their words have power over you? Going back to the bullies at school. As much as it seems like a cliche, ignoring them did work. To a point. That point being where they’d demand my attention by shoving or tripping me in the halls, something that can’t be done through a computer monitor. You say my analogy doesn’t work because they aren’t targeting a single person, but in the comic you establish Tom isn’t trolling just the Ghost Kiss Instagram. From what’s depicted, he seems to be saying offensive things to whichever women he happens across. As for what I’d do about a Tom. I’d probably roll my eyes at his desperate bid for attention, or block him if he got too spam-happy. He can’t know it upsets me if I don’t let it upset me. After the point that I ask him to stop, it becomes a contest of wills, if I get upset at him, he wins, but if he gets bored and leaves, I win.
No one really thinks a clever comeback will stop these people. It’s just for cathartic fun, but in the end, you can bet on someone reminding people of the rule “don’t feed the trolls”. However, we again come to the line where online harassment turns into a completely different beast. The internet is famously the home of pseudo-bravery through anonymity, but the law remains the same in regards to social interaction. You can’t call the cops on someone for being rude or offensive, but you can if they threaten you. Again, maybe it would help people feel more secure online if their local (and maybe federal) law enforcement came and stated “this is the line. If someone crosses this line, we’ve got your back. This is how you report someone crossing this line.”
I should be thanking you. It’s actually a bigger relief than I thought to be able to discuss something like this with someone who doesn’t have their head stuck in a steaming pile of “Us vs. Them”
Thanks for responding. I’m kind of out of energy right now to write back, but I do appreciate it. I’ll try to post a full response when I can.
Hi! Your comic is very interesting, really enjoying it so far. Maybe it’s because I live in a diferent place altogether, I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem that terrible to me, I mean, its just losing… internet.. posting privileges? Perhaps living 16 years without proper access to internet at all makes me say so, but honestly I think comparing this to having a mutilation of sorts is… well, I think that’s silly. You live whithout internet -he can still use internet as the inmense source of information it has, even – and the first months it may be terrible, sure, but then? There are plenty of alternatives in comunication. Granted, they’re more messy, or tricky maybe, but they exist. Having your tounge cut off… well. Is an actual, fisical, very REAL experience, not just the deleting of a kind of alter-ego one might use in the web. Still, just my opinion. Perhaps I am truly missing something. Forgive me if the ideas don’t go through, not my native lenguage.
It didn’t seem that terrible to me either.
Privelages -> privileges
I… cannot suspend my disbelief enough to consider that The Admin’s power is actually exactly what she said it is. I can easily explain Ghost Kiss’ powers, but I cannot explain The Admin’s.